Registration Frustration

I have spoken with my advisor who gave me a list of classes to register for for Winter semester. But I still do not have student status with the univerisity. I just want to register, accept as much financial aid as I can, and mentally prep myself for re-entering the world of academia. It's very frustrating.

Thanksgiving was splendid. I have many things to be thankful for, especially the generosity of others during a time that is a little more financially troublesome than usual for us. My friend Angie took me out for dinner. Darin's aunt and uncle made a scrumptious Thanksgiving feast for the family. A couple that we are close with had us over for dinner last night. And Darin's brother will be cooking tonight.

Even though things are a little stressful, I'm going to try my best to enjoy the little things. Especially since the world could very well be overrun by zombies someday.

Lightbulb!!!

I want desperately to develop a program between the local college (my alma matar) and the local school district. The kindergarten rooms have a hard time getting extra bodies into their classrooms. There isn't the same culture of parental volunteerism that I've seen in other schools. BUT! We have this awesome campus with a great education program not even a mile away. It seems rediculous that there isn't some sort of service program set up between the university and at least the local elementary schools.

I am really interested in persuing this idea. I think the first thing I should do is ask around, both teachers and students. I should also look into financing (materials, rewards ceremonies, etc). I have access to a service fraternity that would be a great place to start. I need to start brainstorming and making to-do lists.

Lesson in Humility

I got an email from the head of the SLP graduate admissions committee yesterday. Apparently, a few applicants turned down their admissions offer, and I am in! I was so, so happy to receive that email. I knew that this was a possibility, but I didn't get my hopes up about it, which was a good approach because I started figuring out my next plan of action right away. Luckily, Plan A ended up happening.

Being initially denied was a lesson in humility, which is something I always need. I needed to be reminded that life doesn't always work out exactly as planned, and that I need to make the most out of any situation.

My advisor is super awesome already. She has responded to all of my emails promptly with answers and a list of the classes I need to register for. I wish I had an advisor like that in my undergrad! All five of the classes I'm taking only have one section offered, so I will be in class Mondays, Tuesday mornings, and Wednesdays.

Sadly, this means that if the elementary school I've been working at offers me the parapro position, I will have to turn it down. I'm scared to break the news to my teacher, because I've built a relationship with the student I work with, and it will be a hard transition getting him used to a new parapro. I know all of his quips and behavioral tendencies. But on the other hand, it might be developmentally good for him to get used to working with different people.

I feel bad about leaving this student, but in the end, I have to do what's right for me. The sooner I graduate, the closer I'll be to having the career of my dreams. I am so, so thankful for the opportunity given to me.

Disappointment

I got the news this week: I did not get accepted into Eastern's SLP grad program in Winter. I called during school, and had to leave the class because I was crying. I knew that this was a possibility, but it's still really disappointing to hear no. The head of the admissions selection committee broke the news to me, and she urged me to apply again for Fall. I plan to apply again, in addition to two other programs.

Maybe this isn't the field I belong in. I wanted it so bad, and now I'm second-guessing myself. I know that I'm expecting everything to just fall into place magically, but it's not. Darin keeps reminding me that this recession is taking a toll on a lot of people, and that there's just going to be more college graduates emerging to compete for the little bit of jobs available. I know that things will get better. But it's been really hard for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Getting rejected by my program has been a huge blow to the ego. "I'm not good enough, I'm a failure", were the thoughts that went through my head. But I'm trying to view this as a small hurdle on the way to where I'm going. I'm going to retake the GRE, apply to a couple other schools and other programs, maybe even re-examine my career path. And I'm going to keep my head up, and remind myself that I am worthwhile. I am talented.

I also need to remember to live just for today. I need to do what I can today before I can worry about tomorrow.