SO Stressed!!!

I'm really stressed. I use all of the spare time I can (so, any time aside from eating, transportation, doing laundry, and sleeping 4-6 hours a night) to work on planning and grading. I made the mistake of relaxing Friday night instead of working, which seems reasonable enough, but I just can't seem to work fast enough to spare even a Friday night.

WHY can't I be more efficient? I'm just overwhelmed with everything I have to do. And to top it all off, there are three students suspended that I need to somehow gather work for. I'm so lost. I definitely need to consult my cooperating teacher today about all of this and let her know that I'm not ahead. I need to come clean and have some humility to be able to say where my weaknesses are.

I haven't even had time to so an assignment that was due yesterday. AHH, I hope my time management problems won't affect my certification.

What am I going to to?

Computer Lab BUST!

Taking the students to the Media Center to use the computers was a bust. Trying to get their passwords figured out took up half of the period, and then most of the class didn't work on their papers but goofed off instead. Unfortunately, we had to take away the computer lab privilege. I would have liked to be able to use it this year, but it would be doing a disservice to the Media Center to bring in a rowdy group again anytime soon.

I told the class that, if they were all diligently working on their Personal Narratives, that the date may be extended if necessary. But since, as a whole, the class isn't taking this assignment seriously, their due date is tomorrow. I'm giving them the whole class period to write today, and Friday, I'm going to have them bring in "final copies". Over the weekend, I'm going to grade them, and then return them on Monday with a week's worth of lesson plans to address the different things that I'm finding are hard for students to grasp, whether it be technically, organizationally, or whatever.

It's hard not to get discouraged with this section of English that I'm teaching. I'm trying as hard as I can to self-evaluate and try to figure out what different things I can do to engage the students. But at the same time, I don't want to keep beating myself up. I am trying, and I'm going to continue to put forth the effort. I need to keep reminding myself that there are students that are working and trying, too.

I DO need to do the following:
Spend more time trying to come up with more creative elements to include in the lessons.
Anticipate for problems and always be sure to over-plan.
Create backup assignments for people who are absent the day of the lesson.
Plan farther in advance than I have been, in case something comes up and I can't make copies, use a resource, etc.

I also want to buy a laptop case so that I can start putting everything in my backpack and walking to school on days that I can.

This is going to be one long year.

It's only been two weeks, but I feel like it's been a lifetime. I must say, student teaching is taking a lot out of me. Thankfully, I'm able to recoup well, even after the rowdy class that I teach.

I tried really hard today. I try really hard everyday. I know that I can't always get what I want, but I DO want to teach this class something--anything. I guess I just want to feel like my hard work that I do outside of class is paying off.

First Observation

I was observed by my student teaching supervisor today for the first time. The class was hell; nothing out of the ordinary.

My supervisor told me that I really need to figure out some more procedures to use to keep the class focused and working. I feel a little embarrassed, and I wish I could go back and think things through for the first couple days of school. The more I think about it, the more I realize the kind of person it takes to be a teacher.

1. You need to be slightly delusional in your steadfastness and patience.
2. You never stop growing as a teacher, and so if you don't have humility towards your potential for growth, you'll never be happy.
3. You need to like teenagers.
4. You need to be okay with the presence of conflict and drama, because it never ends.
5. You need to be able to try and try and try and try again.

The way my supervisor was talking to me was as if the only thing I really needed to do to get her approval was to keep trying and not get discouraged. It's hard, and there are so many coulda-woulda-shouldas just in the first two weeks alone. Hopefully, I can get control of the class and bring things back around to where they need to be. I know I can do this, because I want to succeed and I want to grow.

Monday will be the beginning of a new English 10 General 6th hour.

Good Day

Mrs. D advised me to start the class out with an activity that they will start as soon as they get into class, so that the down time wouldn't allow the class to get riled up like it has been. I had them do some freewriting to get them working right away. Tomorrow, I'm going to have them do some grammar exercises; I'll bring in candy for the people who get it right.

I'm beginning to really fall in love with the students. They make me laugh, and they're starting to work harder, which is awesome. Thankfully, the class won't get any bigger. I don't think I can ever teach at a school with a really homogeneous population; I like the diversity at the high school I am at. It makes things more interesting. It's a catch-22 with the parent involvement, though. The parents at this high school are relatively uninvolved, but at the schools in the highly academic (i.e. high income) areas, the parents can be overbearing.

First Full Week.

Things I need to work on:

patience.
overplanning and anticipating possible problems
planning more engaging activities
consistency
efficiency.

The Units are Coming!

We're doing a Personal Narrative unit starting on Monday, so I need to get all that situated REAL quick. I'm still learning how to do the day-to-day planning, so the long-term planning keeps being put on the back burner. But I'm going to stay here, in the building, today until I get at least half of the schedule figured out. I'm going to try and have lesson plans for every lesson.

I'm very excited to start the Julius Caesar unit. It'll be fun to get the students out of their seats. Plus, there are a large number of males in that class, so they might enjoy the violence and such within the play.

My cooperating teacher still continues to amaze me. She's always supportive about my strengths and weaknesses, and she trusts in the process. I'm trying really hard to give this my all. I wonder how my CT and other professionals think about me so far.

Woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

I must have not completed a REM cycle or something because I just could not get excited to be in school today. I'm going to be blunt when I say that the English 10 class was just annoying today.

I feel a little lost when it comes to procedure; I haven't really picked up on the routines that my CT has put into place. I might just have to come up with my own. So far, I have vocabulary quiz on Fridays, and a possibility of grammar questions at the beginning of the day.

I'm grumpy and frustrated with the fact that I seem to be spending all of the time outside the building trying to come up with ideas. You know how some parents teach their children how to swim by just throwing them in the water? Yeah, it's kind of like that. I know that it'll be the best for me in the end, but man. It's overwhelming right now.

I'm going to pledge to stay at least an hour in the classroom everyday after class, unless I have an important appointment. Then, I need to get there earlier in the morning. Lord knows how distracted I get when I'm home.

Anyway, the personal narrative unit starts on Monday. I still don't know exactly what I want to do with it. I know I want to have at least three days of in-class workshopping, including writing prompts, drafting, and proofreading. We also need days scheduled for the media center, so that the students have an opportunity to word process. On top of that, I need to plan my original unit on Julius Caesar. I hope things start falling into place, and I hope that I can start feeling more productive.

One of the tasks I want to work on is helping Mrs. D organize her room a little bit. There are all these old books and projects everywhere that need purged, and I'm going to go ahead and assume that she doesn't mind that I get started on it.

Keep me in your thoughts while I try to level myself. :o)

Students' First Day

Today was the first day of school for students. Each class period of Mrs. D's had a personality of its own, but all in all, I enjoyed the student body. I can't wait for the class to become more comfortable with myself, Mrs. D, and each other. I was a little jittery when I first spoke to the class, but I think now that the intro is through, I'll feel more relaxed.

I'm feeling a tiny bit lost and unprepared, I must say. I just haven't had much experience in classroom management, and I'm afraid that the students will take advantage of my easy-going manner.

I also feel like a fool because I forgot the materials to prepare for the lesson today. Luckily, the class I'm taking over is the last period of the day, so I'll take advantage of my lunch and planning period to think of some ideas.

Wish me luck!

Clusterfudge

A euphemism, at the very least. The high school had late-running renovations, and the school is left in shambles. Most of the teachers think that the first day of school should have been postponed until Monday because none of them have had time to get their classrooms ready.

There are already so many similarities that I'm finding between a staff of high school teachers and the building staffs I was a part of when I worked for housing as an RA, minus the energy level and the flirting.

Tomorrow, the students are coming. I'm not nervous yet; I don't think I'm going to get that nervous, actually. It'll be nice to have the students in the building. I just hope we have something for them to do, since there hasn't been enough time for my cooperating teacher to plan detailed lessons yet.

I should also mention that Ms. D is pretty much the best cooperating teacher I could have asked for. Everyone has told me (in front of her) that I'm going to have a great experience working with her. And throughout all of this chaos, she has remained one of the more optimistic, light-hearted staff members, which is relaxing. She just seems to "get it," if you will.

Day 1 - Student Teaching

I'm going to count today as the first official day of student teaching, even though I won't see any students until Thursday. I went in for a professional development day today.

Ms. D (gotta be private) is awesome. We started with a tour of the school and stopping to introduce me to whomever we met along the way. Then we went to a whole-staff meeting, where the head principal gave a very motivating speech. By the sound of things at the staff meeting, the teachers are personable with each other. At the meeting, I discovered that a girl who was a frequent classmate of mine (we'll call her Ms. P) is doing her student teaching at the same high school. I was stoked, because she's an awesome person and will be a lot of fun to have around. She brings a relaxed vibe wherever she goes, and she is motivated and dependable, too.

The rest of the day was spent getting to know Ms. D and running around helping her acquire books and catch up with other teachers. Needless to say, I felt welcomed and relatively comfortable there already. Today was just more affirmation that teaching may just be my niche.

I can't wait to meet the students!!!