Christmas, All Over Again

Not that I'm not already biased towards Tom Petty, but I always really liked his one Christmas hit:


I'm proud of myself. I actually managed to make three different kinds of cookies to give away this year, and I managed to put together some simple gifts for many of my loves.

Darin and I started our Christmas tour with a cousins' breakfast on Christmast Eve Morn'. It was a great success, and evidence that we all turned out as okay adults. We then drove over to Chris and Kelly's, where we had dropped off Daisy earlier. She and their dog, Rufus, get along swimmingly, no thanks to Daisy. Luckily, Rufus is probably one of the most well-socialized dogs I've met, and doesn't respond to Daisy's provocations. What a good ol' boy. Kelly whipped up some HEARTY potato soup and we channel surfed while Darin napped on their couch.

We went to the Christmas Eve service at my parents church, where I got to briefly see some second cousins and a ton of adorably dressed children. We went back to my 'rents and ate some of Mom's lasagna -- the best in the world. Per tradition, I wrapped all of the gifts from Dad for Mom, refusing to wrap the Wii that my mom bought for herself. We decided to take it out of the box and play it instead.

The next morning, we exchanged gifts and watched Darin and Ry battle over high scores on the basketball shoot-out game on Wii. Then we hit up Grandpa's, where we managed to pile ourselves into his tiny apartment, despite his plan to have us "stop by at different times". Darin and I won a combined $23.00 in lottery tickets gifted to us by Grandpa and Marylou. Score.

We traveled onward to suburban Michigan to celebrate with Darin's dad's family, which is always a blast because there are a lot of them, and they love to jest. And play poker. We stayed for a couple of hours and drove home to watch a Netflix movie. It was a good holiday for all, expect for Fred, my parents' poor cat, who spent the whole time in the basement hiding from Daisy.

Blog Changes

There are a couple of small changes on my blog (the title and some of the info on the side), with more to come. But I have revamped my Google Reader and subscribed to a dozen Speech Language Pathology blogs. I will report back about which ones I like best.

Classes start in two and a half weeks! I need to get my workspace organized and functional, with a place to put everything and some visual inspiration a la ma copine Jen. Pictures to follow.

Monkey Bread Mishap

I invited a couple of my friends over the other night for some much-needed catching up and girl time. A perfect excuse to bake, I thought, as I pulled out my mom's delicious Monkey Bread recipe. Angela and Stacey sat on the couch and we talked while I coated bits of biscuit with cinnamin and sugar. However, the recipe calls for a sugary glaze overtop, which has to be boiled.

Apparently, sugar burns pretty quickly. Before I knew what was happening, there was smoke rising rapidly from the saucepan on the stove, and the bubbles of liquid inside had turned black. Eventually, the entire apartment was filled with smoke, and my guests had to run into the hallway to seek fresh air. Daisy was panting because she couldn't breathe!

It was awefully embarassing, but entirely hilarious. We grabbed Daisy and our coats and went for a walk down the street while I aired the apartment out with a fan and an open window. I'm glad my friends can see the humor in that kind of situation. The Monkey Bread turned out pretty mushy, but they loved it anyway.

Next time, I will 1.) Bake ahead of time, before my friends come over. 2.) Not leave sugar + a heat source unattended. Stay tuned for my next adventure in cooking!

Nutshell News

In cooking news: I tried another recipe from The Moosewood Cookbook, a Christmas gift from Darin last year that keeps on giving. Mollie Katzen's "Feta Walnut Dip" is savory and addicting. I also stole some recipes from Mom that I loved as a kid, the two gems being "Sunshine Cookies" (orange-flavored sugar cookies with icing), and "Monkey Bread".

In educational news: The ball is rolling on my admissions status. I just have to sit and wait, basically. I am getting more and more excited for January. I can't wait to start learning about articulation and communication disorders. Nerdy.

In work news: I'm going to be so sad to leave Mrs. V's class. Next week is my last week. After that, they'll have hired the permanent parapro. I worry about how the transition will be for my student, especially because there is no official behavioral plan set in place for him (which would provide something consistant). Hopefully I can help with the transition.

In homestead news: We're getting rid of our cable, in an effort to downsize financially. It's nice to have when you just want to sit down for reruns of "The Office", but I know myself enough to know that it will be a major procrastination tool when school starts. Hopefully, I'll use the time more productively and creatively. The only huge bummer is not having access to the Red Wings games.

Registration Frustration

I have spoken with my advisor who gave me a list of classes to register for for Winter semester. But I still do not have student status with the univerisity. I just want to register, accept as much financial aid as I can, and mentally prep myself for re-entering the world of academia. It's very frustrating.

Thanksgiving was splendid. I have many things to be thankful for, especially the generosity of others during a time that is a little more financially troublesome than usual for us. My friend Angie took me out for dinner. Darin's aunt and uncle made a scrumptious Thanksgiving feast for the family. A couple that we are close with had us over for dinner last night. And Darin's brother will be cooking tonight.

Even though things are a little stressful, I'm going to try my best to enjoy the little things. Especially since the world could very well be overrun by zombies someday.

Lightbulb!!!

I want desperately to develop a program between the local college (my alma matar) and the local school district. The kindergarten rooms have a hard time getting extra bodies into their classrooms. There isn't the same culture of parental volunteerism that I've seen in other schools. BUT! We have this awesome campus with a great education program not even a mile away. It seems rediculous that there isn't some sort of service program set up between the university and at least the local elementary schools.

I am really interested in persuing this idea. I think the first thing I should do is ask around, both teachers and students. I should also look into financing (materials, rewards ceremonies, etc). I have access to a service fraternity that would be a great place to start. I need to start brainstorming and making to-do lists.

Lesson in Humility

I got an email from the head of the SLP graduate admissions committee yesterday. Apparently, a few applicants turned down their admissions offer, and I am in! I was so, so happy to receive that email. I knew that this was a possibility, but I didn't get my hopes up about it, which was a good approach because I started figuring out my next plan of action right away. Luckily, Plan A ended up happening.

Being initially denied was a lesson in humility, which is something I always need. I needed to be reminded that life doesn't always work out exactly as planned, and that I need to make the most out of any situation.

My advisor is super awesome already. She has responded to all of my emails promptly with answers and a list of the classes I need to register for. I wish I had an advisor like that in my undergrad! All five of the classes I'm taking only have one section offered, so I will be in class Mondays, Tuesday mornings, and Wednesdays.

Sadly, this means that if the elementary school I've been working at offers me the parapro position, I will have to turn it down. I'm scared to break the news to my teacher, because I've built a relationship with the student I work with, and it will be a hard transition getting him used to a new parapro. I know all of his quips and behavioral tendencies. But on the other hand, it might be developmentally good for him to get used to working with different people.

I feel bad about leaving this student, but in the end, I have to do what's right for me. The sooner I graduate, the closer I'll be to having the career of my dreams. I am so, so thankful for the opportunity given to me.

Disappointment

I got the news this week: I did not get accepted into Eastern's SLP grad program in Winter. I called during school, and had to leave the class because I was crying. I knew that this was a possibility, but it's still really disappointing to hear no. The head of the admissions selection committee broke the news to me, and she urged me to apply again for Fall. I plan to apply again, in addition to two other programs.

Maybe this isn't the field I belong in. I wanted it so bad, and now I'm second-guessing myself. I know that I'm expecting everything to just fall into place magically, but it's not. Darin keeps reminding me that this recession is taking a toll on a lot of people, and that there's just going to be more college graduates emerging to compete for the little bit of jobs available. I know that things will get better. But it's been really hard for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel.

Getting rejected by my program has been a huge blow to the ego. "I'm not good enough, I'm a failure", were the thoughts that went through my head. But I'm trying to view this as a small hurdle on the way to where I'm going. I'm going to retake the GRE, apply to a couple other schools and other programs, maybe even re-examine my career path. And I'm going to keep my head up, and remind myself that I am worthwhile. I am talented.

I also need to remember to live just for today. I need to do what I can today before I can worry about tomorrow.

So I've happened upon another long-term sub job as a parapro. I'm working with kindergarteners (again) in a school district that has a distinctively lower general income level than the kind I got used to working in last year. My role is that of a one-on-one, with a young man who has yet to be classified and is awaiting an IEP.

It's hard work, but I'm so glad that I am out of the routine of last year and experiencing a school with challenges that I can really learn from. The staff conversations are completely different. And the students offer an entirely different dynamic to work with.

I am so thankful for six weeks of work. I can come home and relax for a bit knowing that I've worked hard, and the student I'm working with is making baby steps every day. It's nice to feel like my effort is worth something.

End of October?

I called to find out about the status of my graduate school application and received rather unwelcomed news: I won't find out until the end of October. I guess that gives me two months to register for classes and get everything together. But man, I am growing so anxious about my future! Darin is knee-deep in classes, which he is so committed to. And I'm so jealous!

So, I did some thinking about what I could do with my time until I find out. And I've made some of the following goals for the end of October:

1. Lose 1 lb a week. Which means, by the end of October, a total of 5 lbs. It's a small goal, but it's also attainable. Toreach this goal, I have daily goals and weekly goals to meet.

-Daily goals: Eat no more than 1200 calories per day.

Eat 60 grams of protein a day.

-Weekly goals: Do at least 30 minutes of exercise 4-5 days a week.

2. Spiritual growth. I have some personal small, attainable goals for this. It's personal stuff, but just know that I need to work on prayer, mindfulness, and peace of mind.

3. Finish decorating the apartment. The apartment has been a work in process since we moved in. We have the right couch, the right bed, and, as of yesterday, the right entertainment center. We like this place and want to remain here while we finish out school.

4. Work as much as possible. I want to try to sub every day, if possible, and possibly pick up some babysitting gigs on the side.

I have so many good things in my life right now. A month ago, I was complaining about how bored I was, but now I have so many things to be excited for. I think I can attribute this to my recent spiritual work. Being open to new perspectives has already started paying off in my life. Here are the things that make life great lately:

-Monthly double dates with Kelly and Chris.
-Book club!
-Making plans to see my cousins.
-Darin's nephews, who are all seriously brilliant and even more entertaining.
-Monday night dinners with Angie
-Halloween!
-Fall traditions, like cider mills and hay rides.

I have so much more to add. Gratitude is my specialty today.

Up North Trip-o-rama!!

Have you ever felt like you needed a vacation when you get home from vacation? I am taking a day off tomorrow to get some stuff done around the apartment (Darin has a full day of class to keep him busy).

Our trip was jam-packed full of activities. On Saturday, we drove to the cabin we rented on Spider Lake. The cabin was cozy, comfortable, and about 90+ cement steps away from the actual lake front. Spider Lake is awesome. It's very remote and quiet, surrounded by woods. Saturday night, we drove to Odewa Casino in Petosky, where I lost thirty dollars, mostly on video poker.

Sunday, we spent most of the day exploring downtown Traverse City. The strip on Front Street is pretty standard tourist commerce, but not over the top. We ate delicious middle eastern food for lunch. The afternoon consisted of a drive up the Old Mission peninsula, visiting the lighthouse and stopping at Grand Chateaux Traverse for some wine tasting. We finished the day with pizza (and Oberon, for me) at a local joint right by our cabin.

Labor Day was devoted to Mackinac Island. I loved it! Such a great little vacation spot. I want so badly to stay for a whole weekend and go biking and horsebackriding around the island. We bought a crapton of fudge and did the whole carriage tour deal. They were selling bikes for way cheap! I wish I would have brought extra cash. After we left the island, we found a local family restaurant called Darrow's that had nothing vegetarian, but the homemade bread and coleslaw made it worth it.

Darin and I did our own thing Tuesday morning, stopping at local markets and food stands to acquire all the local fare: dried Traverse City cherries, real maple syrup, honeycrisp apples, North Peak summer ale, homemade all-natural dog treats, etc. We cooked in at the cabin that night and played some friendly family poker (I've come a long way since first learning, but I still lost).

It was most definitely a great trip, making me fall in love with Northern Michigan for the fourth or fifth time now.

Labor Day!

I love Labor Day, almost as much as I love Memorial Day. Darin, his parents, his brother, his brother's girlfriend, his nephew, and I are all traversing to the Traverse City area to celebrate. We're staying on a cabin on Spider Lake (wherever that is) and taking time to explore the area. We're even heading up to Mackinac Island for the day. It'll be my first trip to the island; I'm excited.

The last few weeks, I'm been babysitting one of the kids from day camp. It's been great because she is a fun-loving, creative kid who can pretty much make friends wherever she goes. It's surreal to get paid to have fun with a five-year-old all day. But she had her moments just like any other kid. I like to think of it as "mom practice," should I need that.

I'm excited to start subbing again in the fall. I'm hoping to see some of the same kids from last year. We'll see.

Everyone has been asking me...

...did you get a job for the fall?

No. And honestly, I haven't been looking. Because I want so desperately to be a speech-language pathologist. Should I be looking for jobs just in case? Probably.

I am talented. I am able. I am valuable. These are things I have to remind myself when I get to that place in my head that says, You aren't doing anything. You haven't started a career yet. But here's the thing: I'm happy. I'm excited that I found my true calling. I have great friends and family, many of whom have great things happening to them right now, too. What else can I really ask for?

August

The day camp is over. We had a great run. I'll miss the campers and being able to swim in a nice pool every day. But I'm ready for the school year to start, and to get back to work as a sub.

I was asked to babysit one of the campers for the next three weeks. It's a good gig; four days a week hanging out with a fun, intelligent 5-year-old. She has been at camp all summer, so I've gotten to know her pretty well. Also, mom and grandma said we could take trips to the waterpark and what not, so that should be fun.

This weekend was the deadline for graduate applications for Eastern Michigan's Speech-Language Pathology program. I had all of my paperwork in by last Tuesday. Go me! I'm hoping that the admissions committee in the department can see my potential and give me a shot. I desperately want this.

I've also been doing some spiritual work on myself. I've been seeking ways that I can improve my outlook on life and my relationships to people. It never hurts to put an effort towards self-improvement, and I have been in kind of a rut this last year. I'm ready to get myself back out there again, into the community, doing productive and creative things with my time.

We just finished our fourth week of day camp, which means that this job is halfway done for me. It's been nice to have a full time job for the summer, and the managers at Bob Evans have been kind enough to let me work every other Sunday, to avoid burnout, and letting me pick up extra shifts here and there.

The work setting of the day camp job is interesting. My boss, the camp director, is also a future teacher. He is doing his student teaching in the fall, so it's been great experience for him because he's learning how to manage elementary-aged kids. He was having doubts about the job in the beginning, which was actually a challenge for me because I have a tendency to want to control every situation that I'm a part of. But I decided to step back and just give him only the suggestions that I knew could greatly benefit his experience, while I just do the best job that I can as a counselor.

I'm glad I chose to work at the camp this summer. I'm staying in touch with young people, and I get to enjoy learning about kids in a non-school setting. Plus, it's 40 hours a week, with weekends off, and I get a free lunch and snack!

Happiness

Things that have made me happy lately:

-Daisy, of course. How have I gone so long without a dog?

-"So You Think You Can Dance" - This show is very American Idol-like, but the amount of passion that these dancers have inspires me to want to feel that way about something.

-long emails from old friends

-good books. I just finished The Road by Cormac McCarthy (heavy, but outstanding). Now I'm onto a lighter memoir called Tender at the Bone.

-watching Darin work. He is steadfast and diligent towards achieving his goals. I look up to him.

-anticipation of promising events to come.

It's the end of the school year, and I have to admit that I've been very blessed this year. I have been able to be an active part of 9 students' school year. It wasn't every day, but it was regular enough that they know me and trust me. Not every substitute can say they were able to watch students grow this past year. I am thankful for that.

Darin is working diligently to get his accounting degree finished. He is getting outstanding grades and keeping his priorities straight, studying every night and staying on task with all of the reading assignments and homework. I really look up to him. He is so driven to achieve this goal.

There has been lots to do, and the summer camp job is starting in two weeks! It's going to be a nice break to go from managing classwork to just making sure the kids are having plain old fun. I get to wear shorts and a t-shirt, and play with kids at a country club all day. (The country club setting is new for me, but, hey, they have tennis!)

The graduate school applications are underway as well. I've secured one letter of recommendation, but I'm shy about asking professors from two years ago to write my one. I'll get up the guts by the end of this week, I hope. Other than that, my GRE scores and my GPA are above the average of those admitted to the program. So I think I have a pretty good shot. We'll see if it grad school is in the plan for me. Wish me luck!

Contemplations on Sleep and Industry

I took a sick day from my long-term job because I feel it best not to spread whatever germs I may be harboring beneath this sore throat, conjestion, and cough. I'm not completely incapacitated, so I have been reading news and blogs and whatever I come across on Google Reader.

One article that got my gears going was a news article about a recent sleep study. The study concurred that people who generally sleep six hours were more likely to die prematurely (whatever that means). Yes, once again, a study confirms that we need 7-8 hours of sleep at night. One bit that I felt worth sharing:

"Modern society has seen a gradual reduction in the average amount of sleep people take, and this pattern is more common amongst full-time workers, suggesting that it may be due to societal pressures for longer working hours and more shift-work."

How many times have I gone to bed at a reasonable hour, feeling guilty for using those two hours to sleep instead of do something productive? I've seen so many full-time teachers staying in their classroom until 10pm and arriving the next day at 6am. It's almost as if, to get ahead in our work/career/etc, we must sacrifice our own health. And the workforce is very competitive these days, because there are fewer and fewer jobs.

What is a solution to this? Sometimes I wish we could just all go back to being small homesteaders, growing our own food and livestock. That way, we'd all have work that directly effected our livelihood. The information age is scary, even for us 20-somethings who have never known anything different.

Great End to a Good Week

Saturday! My one day off of work. I've been feeling tired this week, and I think it's because I'm honestly not used to working this much. Darin laughed at me when I said that, and rightly so. Lots of people work six days a week. But luckily, I get Saturdays off.

The week flew by, and yesterday was beautiful for recess. The kindergarten playground smelled of flowers, and B. learned to pump on the swings to keep himself up. He just kept yelling "I'm doing it, Ms. O!" from the swing. It was awesome.

Last night, Darin and I had a study date, then we took Daisy for a walk. Afterwards, we watched Capitalism: A Love Story by Michael Moore and then called it a night. It was a good Friday.

Long-term Job Update.

My long-term sub job has been great so far. It's nice not to think about where I'll be going in the morning. I like being able to walk in to a building that is familiar, with staff and students who know my name. Earlier this week, one of the kindergarteners handed me a folded-up piece of colorful artwork that was made just for me.

One of the permanent parapros could be doing a better job at being friendly towards me and a choice few others. It's an awkward and unnecessary element, but it's essentially her issue that seemingly stems from her hating her job. She is qualified and good at what she does. I wish she knew how lucky she is.

This particular district favors a behaviorist approach to discipline. I've enjoyed learning more about this approach. It's very rewarding when a behavior plan starts working. I want to learn more about this, and about autism spectrum disorders. Working with the same students for the next four weeks will benefit my own educational experience, which is why I'm grateful for this job!

Eastern Michigan's teacher job fair is tomorrow. I'm a little nervous about how it's going to play out. My shirt has been ironed and my portfolio assembled. I couldn't help but have a low-self esteem moment about my resume and what I feel it's lacking. But Darin assured me that I will soon have more to put in there. And I'm certain that most entry-level teachers can relate to this feeling. Teaching is a learn-by-doing job; I hope I show excellent of potential to the representatives tomorrow.

I'm trying to keep a Zen mindset tonight, and towards my whole job search in general. I'm going to trust that what will be will be and have faith that the right job will come around when it's time. Until then, I need to put my energies into the elements of my life that I can control. I can distribute my resume, gain daily experience, read pedagogy, enjoy my fleeting free time to persue my other interests, and etc. And of course, take time to practice gratitude for what I do have.

April Updates

I got offered a job at a local private summer day camp. I will be working with one other person, the director, who will also be my boss. It's not the best choice financially, but I know that I'm going to love it. I'll be outside for most of the day, and I'll be designing and implementing activities, which should be great experience.

The guy that I'm working with is also going into education, and he seems to have great character. I'm excited to actually like my coworker. It'll beat working at the restaurant, for sure. I've thought about putting applications in at restaurants. The money is tempting. But in the end, I need to stay focused on what the best choice would be for my career.

Speaking of my career, I'll be attending at least one teacher job fair next week. I'm in the process of putting together my portfolio and resumes. I've already picked out what I'm going to wear, too. I'm looking forward to it, for sure. At the very least, it will be great practice in presentation and interviewing. Who knows what could happen?

Mean Girls.

I'm reading Margaret Atwood's Cat's Eye right now. The story is one of Western womanhood in the latter half of the 20th century, and the narrator just took me through her ordinary childhood where she was constantly ridiculed and evaluated by her three "best friends". Atwood captures this element of girlhood so perfectly that I felt pain reading it, remember my own tormentors from my youth. What makes it so real is that none of the teasing is bad enough to warrent adult attention.

Today, I subbed in a third grade room where I can watch these very same games being played out, where a girl may be "in" at the beginning of the day and then suddenly gets called names. And there's usually a ringleader, who twists and manipulates, and eventually rules by fear. It's not quite bullying, but it's not good either. Who teaches our young women to act this way to one another? Do we, as adults, unknowingly reward the popular one?

This past Thursday, I was asked to sub for a teacher whom I had met previously when subbing for a teacher consultant in his room. He emailed me the lesson plans early (an overview and discussion of Machievelli's The Prince) and pretty much left me responsible for the actual content, knowing that I'm certified in History.

Perhaps it was just this particular instance, or that it was just a really good group of students, but the day went very well. I even received a little posistive feedback, my favorite being, "You're different. Most subs come in all scared." Not sure what these other subs could possibly be scared of. In any case, whether or not the students cared for me, I lef the day feeling like I had contributed, presenting the classes with new material, generating discussion, and provoking thought. I miss that feeling, and I made sure to thank the teacher for letting me sub for him. (I always do, but sometimes I mean it more.) I also made sure to meet the ELA teacher across the hall. I always try to distribute my contact info to at least one person every time I work in a secondary setting.

A couple of updates and career-related items on my mind:

-I got asked to stand in as a permanent sub for one of the parapros at an elementary school that I frequent. I said yes, because, at the very least, it's experience. I'm curious as to what veteran teachers and hiring teams would recommend in terms of prioritizing experience with my age group (6-12), because this sub job is with kindergarten. Anyway, I'm excited to have a month or so of steady work, five days a week.

-I'm looking at day camp positions for summer work. It would be a ton of fun! Of course I'm shooting for a summer teaching job, but it doesn't hurt to keep other options open. I do not want to work at the restaurant full time this summer. No way.

-The local teacher job fair is happening in a month. I'm debating on what kind of things I can do to stand out. Any suggestions?

-I need to get crack-a-lackin' on studying for the GRE. It's coming, and I want to do awesome on it. I miss being a student. I'm in love with school/learning, as are most teachers.

Wait-time.

I've been trying my best to keep myself busy during the wait-time that this economy (and the state of Michigan) has bestowed upon us newly-ceritified teachers. I get warnings from the regulars at Bob Evans to "not do what Ronda* did" (Ronda being a long-time server at the restaurant who got a teaching degree and never used it).

Ways I've been entertaining myself:
-watching earlier seasons of Lost on Netflix.
-keeping my living quarters cleaner than I ever have.
-reading blogs. LOTS of blogs. Teaching blogs, gardening blogs, vegetarian blogs, urban homesteading blogs. I can't get enough.
-playing guitar, my most beloved pasttime.
-reading whatever.
-thrifting.
-cooking dinner. I'm getting better!

I've also been spending a lot of time with my puppy, Daisy. I couldn't have picked a better time to get a dog. How I went this long without one is beyond me, because she is my sunshine. She brightens my mood the minute I walk through the door.

*name changed.

Do you talk good?

Grammar. Grammar, grammar, grammar.

I engaged in a passionate (on my end, mostly) debate with a close friend of mine yesterday about using "improper" grammar. I'm a descriptivist; I believe that language should be studied objectively without establishing any rules. I think dialects should be valued equally. I also like to know the socially established "rules" of Standard American English (SAE), but choose not to judge anyone who breaks those "rules".

Specifically, the debate I had with my friend was about whether or not it is polite to correct someone's English, whether or not you believe in the idea of there being "correct grammar". What do you, my humble handful of readers, think? I think it's rude, even if one thinks they are just trying to help. I think the only time that it is appropriate is when someone either asks you directly to edit their speech or writing.

This is important for me to think about as a teacher of English. I don't speak perfect SAE, and I don't know many who do so. There are parts of verbal communication that I pay more attention to, but I choose never describe someone as being lazy, wrong, less intelligent, or ignorant from their language alone. Do I think it's important to learn and know the "rules" of SAE? Sure. The reality is that it pays off to speak the standard. That's exactly how I plan to approach grammar studies to my students. In the end, it's up to each individual as to how the English Language can work for them.

[steps down from her soapbox]

On Subbing...again.

I subbed for half day yesterday at a local middle school. The last period was a class of 16 boys. Instant headache. I'm sure they are all very smart, talented, and respectful young men. They just didn't show me that part of themselves.

Two different students on two separate occasions came up to me and literally thanked me for "being a sub." It was funny, but I held back my laughter.

I want to buy this book:


...by David Roche, microcosmpublishing.com. I browsed through it at a craft store in Columbus, and it looked humorous.

It's been hard to find subbing jobs because there are so many people in the system. When a job is posted, it's picked up in seconds. It's dog-eat-dog for subs around here! I can't wait to move.

In other news, Daisy is getting bigger everyday. She is still chewing and eating everything she finds, resulting in the cleanest our apartment has ever looked. I can't even put my purse on the floor. I'm very happy to have her, though. She's a stress-reliever; there's nothing like curling up on the couch and Daisy climbing on top of me.

I'll be turning 25 in ten days. 25, and I still don't know what I want to do with my life. I'm trusting that the powers-that-be have something good in store for me. Maybe it's something that has nothing to do with education. Who knows? All I know is that I need something more. I want to feel a connection to my work and the people with whom I work. Right now, I don't feel that.

I shouldn't complain. Many teachers in the area will be handed pink slips at the end of the year. Ones who have families and house/car payments. I don't envy them, and I thank God that I'm not worried about if I'll have a job at the end of the year or not.

Which brings me to my New Years resolution (inspired by Brie): gratitude. I need to practice gratitude every day. I need to write the word in a place where I can see it every morning. Because as much as I get down about not being where I saw myself at 25, there are still so many beautiful things and people in my life.